1. You can SO die. #not cool

Millennials, stand aside. We’ve been wanting to die for centuries. Unfortunately, we’re totally immortal.

“I remember death so much it feels more like a memory.”  LITERALLY!!!!

Work’s giving you’re a migraine? Try being shot in the head a few times.

2. You’re FOREVER Alone

Forget no-strings attached. No-strings is our way of life.

Not aging makes us virtually undateable to the majority of the population. Nothing says major turn-off like being perpetually baby-faced…hang in there, Latvia!

3. You’re ALWAYS working

Thanks to our bosses, we have an inhumane amount of paperwork to do every day.

Still waiting for France to unionize us and pull off a strike. Any century now…

4. You can NEVER escape your ex

Unlike humans, breakups can mean a number of things to us.

What’s more AWKWARD than having your ex-colonial overlord as your colleague? 

5. Slave labour is TOTALLY legal!

Did I mention how much it sucks be us?!