@weekofhetalia

Demons and Angels prompt! 

Summary: Lovino loses his family in a devastating car accident. He becomes homeless and loses hope until a voice guides him on the right path again. It just so happens that Lovino has an uncanny habit of attracting trouble. (angel Spain! x human Romano!)

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When life gets you down, an optimist would tell you to get right back up again and to keep on fighting. But, how could one fight when there was nothing to fight for? – the pessimist in myself asked. And for the longest time, I let that negativity win.

Life is a bitch to me, it always has been. The last straw was five years ago; I had been driving home with my Nonno and little brother, Feliciano. We were enjoying ourselves. Well, at least they were enjoying themselves, as we had just come back from one of Feliciano’s art exhibits. God, he was only sixteen. He was just so full of life and potential. Of course, fate just had to fuck everything up by ruining it all.

At 9:30 PM, on February 12th, 2012, we were struck by a drunk driver.

At 9:31 PM, I had lost everything I’ve ever cared for.

Feliciano and Nonno died on impact – so did the driver who had killed them.

At seventeen, I became an orphan. The foster system wanted nothing to do with me since I turned 18 a month later. I had no money, no home, and nothing to call my own. I lived on the streets, pickpocketing what I could to survive.

I was miserable. I felt useless. I had never been wanted. Feliciano had always been the brighter, livelier, and kinder sibling. I was used to being overlooked by everyone. And could I blame them? I was a sorry excuse for a person; lazy, short-tempered, and entitled. I let my family do everything for me. Whether it was chores or cooking meals, I never helped out with anything – I had taken it all for granted.

Being alone and having no one made me realize just how dependent and pathetic I was. I kept telling myself that I would have never amounted to anything anyway, car accident or not. This rationalization was the only thing that kept me going.

And then, out of nowhere, a voice spoke to me. I don’t know what it was, or where it came from, but somehow, I knew it was a part of me and that it was there to help. It told me that my family would have never wanted me to feel sorry for myself, and that I shouldn’t feel guilty for surviving either.

Instead, it told me to aim higher, to better myself and to reach my full potential. A spark ignited in me, and somehow, I managed to get a job as a waiter. Then I got another job. Then I found an apartment. Then I got a laptop.

Everything just seemed to fit together. For once, I wasn’t falling apart. That voice resonated with me, urging me to put myself together and to make the most out of my life. It believed in me, and after a while, I began to believe in it.

I applied for university, and at nineteen years old, I got into the program of my dreams on a full-scholarship. I’ve never tried in school, always being paralyzed by the fear of being outshined by others.

That voice, which had now become my gut instinct, told me to put my everything into my studies. Three years later, and here I am, in my third year of my Political Science degree, on the motherfucking Dean’s list of all things. I had big dreams now. I refused to let my anxiety prevent me from achieving what I wanted. I was tired of doubt; I just wanted to be happy.

I deserved to be happy.

Too bad the universe didn’t think I deserved it.

…

The crisp October night was freezing to the bone, casting an early darkness over the campus. I despised winter’s saving time like you wouldn’t believe. It just made everything more depressing when you came home from a five PM lecture; it felt more like it was midnight.

Leaves rustled on the cobblestone pathways, and dim lampposts lit up the bus station I was heading to. I had just come back from writing a mid-term, so my only plan was to go home and sleep to make up for the how many hours I had lost cramming last-minute information into my caffeine-logged mind.

Shivering, I wrapped my scarf tighter around my neck, clenching my gloved fists to spread the warmth to my fingers.

I had almost reached the bus station when something caused me to stop in my tracks. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, a wave of uncertainty clouding the air. Something wasn’t right. I don’t know what, but I’ve learned to trust my gut instinct. It was never wrong.

That voice, it always kept me out of trouble. It brought along a warmth similar to the sun’s rays, brightening my day if I was feeling down. It was almost dopey, that’s just how optimistic and silly it was. I’ve speculated the possibility of it being a separate personality, a coping mechanism to distract myself from the misfortune in my life. It just felt so real for it not to be.

But now, the voice wasn’t encouraging or nurturing me; it was telling me to run, to call the cops, and to get the hell out of here.

A sharp clap to the left prompted me to turn my head. I was looking into an alleyway at the side of the main Arts building. It was a place where professors and students came out to smoke, a perfect spot to lurk in the shadows and keep out of view from other people.

Without realizing it, my feet led me towards the alleyway, ignoring the voice in my head that was begging for me to turn away.

When I heard a girl let out a blood-curdling scream, that’s when I started running.

Nonno raised me better than this. I was taught to be kind and respectful to women, to help them out, and to defend them with my life if needed – perhaps a bit of an exaggeration, but you get the point.

Call the police! Don’t endanger yourself! They can handle this!

It was too late to call the police. Whatever the altercation was now, the police wouldn’t get here in time. My shoes slapped against the ground in uneven stumbles and steps as I sprinted forward, my bloodstream surging with adrenaline.

I entered the alleyway, screaming at the top of my lungs when I saw a masked figure pinning a girl against a brick wall. Both figures were struggling, but the masked one was the larger of the two by a wide margin, easily triumphing over her in strength, weight, and height.

“HEY!” I bellowed, only to be ignored.

The girl moved into view, green eyes widening in the dim light. I immediately recognized her from my Theories class – Bella Maes.

“Lovino!” Bella shrieked, her short blonde hair flailing as she punched her assailant in the face. “Get out of here! Go! Get help!”

“Like hell I’m going to do that!” I growled, balling my fists. “I’m not leaving you here with this psycho. Hey, you disgusting pig! Over here! The fuck do you think you’re doing! Why don’t you pick on someone who can actually fight back?!”

The masked figure wasn’t paying attention to me, probably because he was holding his assaulted nose with one hand.

“Lovino, you don’t understand!” Bella wailed. “This doesn’t concern you. Please, don’t get involved. I don’t want you to get hurt!”

Bella’s words didn’t register with me; I wasn’t leaving this alleyway without her safe and unharmed.

“You dirty fucking bitch!”

Bella screamed again when her assailant slapped her, hard, an ear-deafening sound I absolutely refused to hear again.

I was only a few paces away from them now, infuriated when the man pressed his face close to Bella’s, one hand now wrapped around her throat.

“Where’s the money, sweetheart? Your brother hid it with you, didn’t he? He should have never gotten involved with this business knowing that you could be used as collateral!” the assailant snarled, voice deep and raspy from many years of smoking.

“You’re a pretty little thing, I’ll give ya that. It’s such a shame this might be your last night alive. I’ll repeat myself again, nice and slow because English isn’t your first language: where are you keeping the fucking money?”

“I don’t have it!” Bella choked, gasping for breath. “I already told you! I keep out of what he does. I don’t know anything.”

“You’re lying. Don’t play with me, doll. I’ll get you to talk, even if it takes me all night.”

“How many times do I have to tell you I don’t know! You’re wasting your time!” Bella snarled, revealing a fury I hadn’t ever thought possible from such a normally sweet person.

“I SAID GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER, YOU JACKASS!” I shouted, planting my feet firmly on the ground, panting from exertion.

Get out of here! Go! What are you doing?!

The assailant finally turned around to glare at me through the holes of his ski-mask. “Who the fuck is this bozo? Your boyfriend? Or does he deal for your brother? Better get talking, bitch, because I’m already running very low on patience. You don’t want to test me, the last person who did that ended up six-feet under. But as for you? I think I’ll have my fun, take my time, ya know? That is, before I leave you to rot in a dumpster, along with the rest of the whores who poke their pretty noses where they don’t belong.”

“Don’t talk to her like that!” I exploded. If I screamed loud enough, maybe Bella’s attacker would get the message and run. Campus security should have already heard this scuffle; what was taking them so long?!

“Lovino…” Bella pleaded, eyes widening as the hand around her throat tightened.

“I’m not leaving you, Bella. Just shut up!” I panicked. Crap, how was I supposed to fight this guy?! He was fucking colossal. Still, I refused to leave.

“Well, doll? Who is this asshole to you?”

Bella paled. “He’s not my boyfriend…o-or friend! Don’t hurt him, please! He’s not a part of this!”

“I’ll do whatever the fuck I want if it gets you to talk.” My heart stopped when the assailant reached into his tan trench coat, pulling out a gun with his dominant free hand. He aimed it at my head. “Are you one of Lars’s boys?”

I froze like a deer in the headlights.

“ANSWER ME!”

“N-no,” I stammered. “I don’t even know a Lars. I just know her, she’s in one of my classes.”

What the fuck did I just get myself into?

“He’s telling the truth!” Bella wheezed. “Please, just let him go!”

The assailant laughed, it sent shivers up my spine. “Well, brat, you’ve seen a lot of what you shouldn’t have. I’ll give you one last chance to walk away, squeaky clean. Don’t try to get all heroic on me. This cunt deserves whatever I do to her. Let’s not be stupid, yeah? Walk away. And you best believe that if I even hear one word of you talking to the police, I’ll put a bullet straight through your fat head. I’d rather not have to deal with you, so be grateful and take what I’m offering here.”

“I’m not leaving,” I said through clenched teeth. “The police will be here any minute,” I lied. “I’ve already called them.”

That’s what you should have done! Why didn’t you?!

“You little shit,” the assailant growled. “Didn’t they teach you in pre-school to mind your own business? Well, lemme teach you a new lesson. Open your fat fucking mouth and you pay the price. There’s nothing those useless pricks can do if they’re not here…”

Click!

Bella shrieked.

The next moment went by in a blur. The assailant let go of Bella out of shock; her voice was penetrating, echoing off the cement walls in painful vibrations.

Bella surged forward, shoving the man in the chest. She took full advantage of his stunned state, easily toppling him over.

The gun went off as Bella proceeded to tackle the assailant, knocking him unconscious as he had smacked his head hard against the concrete ground.

Meanwhile, my vision began to fade.

I went numb, reaching up to touch my right ear. Something warm and sticky began to coat my hand, then my wrist, and then my whole arm.

I don’t know how or when, but I fell to the ground. Next thing I knew, warm droplets fell on my face.

“L-L-Lovino! Oh g-god, no!” Bella sobbed, placing pressure against the side of my head. “Hold on, damn it! Hold on! Help is on its way. Oh god! I’m so sorry! This is my fault! No! This is Lars’s fault… Why didn’t you r-run?! Please, please, be okay!”

Hardly able to speak, I smiled weakly. I choked up blood and spoke in a raspy whisper. “You know I couldn’t just leave you like t-that. Smile, Bella. At least you’re safe. I don’t want the last thing I see to be…”

My vision blacked out.

Sirens wailed in the background.

The cold was no longer numbing.

I had lost the feeling of warmth the voice gave me the moment I stepped into the alleyway.

My body went slack.

So this was it, huh?

I can’t say I regretted what I did.

Perhaps Nonno and Feliciano would finally be proud of me.

I was proud of you regardless! How could you just throw away your life like that, like it didn’t matter at all?! You were loved right where you were! I- I…lo-! I failed you…

…

I woke up with a start, immediately gasping in pain. The ground beneath my feet was hot, consisting of coal stones with several cracks in them. It was almost as if I was in a volcano, except the space felt endless. The air was muggy, grey, like a smog cloud full of carbon dioxide. I could hardly breathe.

I sat up, noticing that I wasn’t wearing any clothes but boxers. The skin on my back and thighs felt raw to the touch; it didn’t help that the soles of my feet burned as I walked forward a few steps, occasionally hearing a sizzle and hiss of fire go off in the distance.

I was in a daze, everything was too bright for my vision to settle.

“Am I…in hell?” I wondered out loud.

If so, I wouldn’t be surprised. I had done a lot of regretful things after the accident, all of which I wasn’t proud of.

I suddenly felt claustrophobic. It didn’t help that I was having trouble getting air into my lungs. What made me feel most nervous was the fact that I had no gut instinct about this place. I didn’t know what to do, where to go, or what to think and feel.

I was lost.

“Not yet, you’re not,” a smooth voice spoke amongst the spoke, emitting a chuckle that reminded me of the sound of glass cracking. It had a very thick French accent. “This isn’t hell, we still have to judge your soul. Although, seeing how your purgatory manifested, it is very likely that you will end up in hell, you naughty, boy, you,” it teased.

“Who are you?!” I shouted. “Show yourself.”

“But of course.” A man wearing denim jeans and no shirt popped into view. He had shoulder length blond curls, sapphire eyes that sometimes flickered red depending on the angle you were looking at him from, and a thin, pale, and muscularly sculpted body. A red pointed tail poked out of his – or should I say its? – pants, curling so that it didn’t touch the molten ground.

“Bonjour, mon petit, don’t you look delectable?” the demon mused. “Lovino Vargas, you’ve been quite the brat, haven’t you? Handsome, non. More like a vixen; a forbidden fruit tainted with self-doubt and insecurity. I can’t wait to have my chance to devour you, to cherish every inch of your pathetically hopeless soul.”

I backed away in fright, stumbling over my feet. “S-stay the fuck away from me!”

The demon only proceeded to walk closer to me, smirking as if he sensed my fear, feeding from it and licking his thin lips. He grew larger, or perhaps that was just my imagination.

“Hmmm, let’s go over your life, shall we? You were a lazy good for nothing child. Ungrateful!”

“NO!” I screamed.

“Oh yes! You were, weren’t you?! You expected everything to be handed to you! You don’t know what hard work is!”

“That’s not true!”

“You pick-pocketed! You stole from the innocent! You got into relationships, breaking hearts as you dragged and led them on because you were selfish! Greedy! Adulterous! You cheated! You lied your way to the top like a miserable slug! You’re a disgrace! You belong with me! You belong in hell!”

“NO! SHUT UP! I DON’T WANT TO BE HERE!” I wailed, covering a hand over my ears.

I screamed in agony, feeling the demon pry into my mind, pulling out anything he could use against me.

And then, I felt the warmth return to me.

“He belongs in no such place!” a familiar voice yelled.

The smoke cleared, making it easier for me to breathe. Stunned, I removed my hands from my head, straightening my posture as I turned to look at the person standing beside me.

They were taller by a few inches with tanned skin, a messy mop of brown curls, green eyes, and an equally-matched physique to the demon leering before us.

The angel, I presumed judging by his white shirt and pants, refused to look me in the eye, glaring at the demon instead.

“Be gone, demon,” the angel warned. “Lovino does not belong with you nor does he belong with me. He is his own person. He belongs in heaven, in God’s arms with his family at his side. He has done many bad things in the past, yes, but he has a heart of gold that is worth more than you beings without remorse can ever comprehend. A person who betters himself is a person who deserves forgiveness.”

The angel turned to look at me, but not in the eyes, placing a warm tanned hand on my shoulder. He looked…sheepish. I was too petrified to question his odd expression. “Lovino, listen to me. You must think of yourself as worthy to enter heaven. Your soul is both good and bad, but if you let the negativity consume you, there is nothing I can do to save you.

"Remember who you are, the boy who volunteers at soup kitchens now, the boy who makes a strong effort to give money to the homeless because he was one, even if he can’t afford it… The boy who works day and night to make something out of himself. The boy who tutors for free in his spare time. The boy who forgives too easily and never wants to hurt others because he knows how it feels to be left behind. The boy who-!”

“My my, I’ve never seen an angel so invested in a human before,” the demon drawly remarked. “Am I sensing some sexual tension in the air? How lovely, you two have history. Too bad he’s mine for the taking.”

“THE FUCK I AM!” I protested, responding to only what I understood.

The demon curled his lip at me, sharp canines bared. “You will learn who your master is soon enough. A sharp-tongue will only attract sharp objects in a place like this.”

The angel placed an arm in front of me as the demon continued to advance.

I panicked when the smoke materialized again, choking for breath. Geysers of fire erupted in the distance.

“Lovino!” the angel commanded. “Do not let your fear paralyze you! That is what the demon wants! I…I must show you then, it’s the only way.”

The angel placed a hand on my forehead. My eyes closed. When I opened them, memories flashed before my mind. I saw myself from an outsider’s perspective, handing food to the homeless, tutoring struggling students, and lastly a memory of where I had helped bandage a six-year-old Feliciano’s knee after he had tripped and fallen on the pavement.

Feliciano. I’m sorry…

NO! DO NOT THINK SO NEGATIVELY! NOT THAT! ANYTHING BUT THAT!

This time, I was in control of my body as I experienced the memory firsthand; it was a memory I had long tried to repress and forget.

I was sitting in the back seat of the car. Blood poured out from my forehead. It was dark, my vision was blurry; the only thing lighting up the area were the street lights at the intersection. We had a green light, but the person hadn’t stopped.

He had crashed right into the side of the driver’s door.

The airbag was out; two bodies were lying in the front seats, lifeless.

I screamed, struggling to get out of the car. I choked from the scent of blood. I couldn’t hear anything; my ears were still ringing.

I nearly tripped, placing both palms against the other driver’s car. I looked through the smashed front window to spot a familiar mop of brown hair lying against the driving wheel, green eyes blank, staring into nothing.

I turned to throw up onto the pavement, collapsing at some point.

You, it was you.

Yes, it was me. I’m so sorry.

Why.

The voice, the warmth, it disappeared again, leaving an unthinkable amount of guilt behind.

I knew now. I knew who he was, and how much he had regretted what he had done. How he had labored about it this whole time, looking after me to make up for his grave mistake. He was the one who had pushed me off the streets. He was the voice in my ear when I had needed him most.

His name was Antonio Fernandez Carriedo. He was 21 years old when he had gone out with his friends on the night of his birthday. He hadn’t planned to drink so much, nor had he planned to kill two innocent people and ruin the life of the remaining survivor.

He became my angel when he saw how much I had suffered, still suffered, because of him.

His love, affection, and encouragement was what had ultimately pushed me forward.

And now he had left, too afraid to show himself once he knew that I had found out who he was.

I hated him, and yet… I didn’t.

The next time I opened my eyes, I was back in the endless molten pit, staring right into the smug sapphire eyes of the demon.

“You’re back already?” he leered. “You must have missed me dearly. Come, lapin, it is now obvious where you belong. Let that hatred fuel your revenge. You will have the opportunity to spite those who live the good life, the life you were never given.”

The demon reached out a clawed hand for me to grab, its tail twitching in anticipation.

I bit my lip. “No.”

“Excuse moi?”

“You heard me, no. My Nonno didn’t raise me to hate others just because they were better than me. He taught me to aspire after them, to look up to them as a role model in order to better myself. I don’t belong with scum like you, those who are run by envy and vanity. I will never join you so long as I have a choice.”

The demon took a step back, only to yelp when the rocks beneath his feet splashed into a flowing current of lava. “N-non,” he muttered to himself. “I don’t understand! It can’t be! His family’s murderer is right before his very eyes… How can he forgive something like that? C’est impossible!”

“Get out, you’re the one who doesn’t belong here,” I snarled, feeling a surge of strength envelop in my chest.

The demon shrieked, pinned by an invisible force, claws desperately trying to latch onto the ground that only continued to crumble at the touch.

I clapped both hands over my ears again, refusing to listen to its desperate pleas as it burned into ashes, likely being dragged down to hell, where it damn well belonged.

Suddenly, the air became cooler; warm, but pleasant. The ground tickled my feet. I heard birds chirping.

Disoriented, I looked up into a pure blue sky, quickly glancing down to find myself standing in a field of knee-high green-as-green grass. There was a creek in front of me with one oak tree resting at the edge of the current.

I was wearing clothes again, the same white pants and shirt the angel had on.

Speaking of whom.

I immediately recognized the figure sitting under the shade of the tree, posture slumped as his head rested in the arms that hugged his legs close to his chest.

My gut instinct was back: my purgatory reflected the goodness I saw in my heart now. I was one step closer to heaven.

But first, I had to make amends with the person who had wronged me; the person who had taken away everything I’ve ever cared about.

Silently, I sat next to the angel on the grass, inhaling the rich scent of soil in the air. Everything was so clear, so pure. I was a city boy. I wasn’t used to seeing nature at its very finest.

Still, it felt like I was breathing for the first time, devoid of worries, regret, and most important of all, bitterness.

I was free.

Well, almost.

I sighed. “Antonio, can you at least look at me? I think you owe me that.”

Surprised, Antonio glanced up, meeting my eyes for the first time.

My first thought was that he was gorgeous. His eyes were a rare green, bright and lively despite the burden of guilt they carried in them. His cheekbones were sharp and chiseled. There were laugh lines from when he had still lived. I could tell that he had been a happy, cheerful person.

Brown curls swept in front of his eyes as he sniffled. There were wet tracks on his cheeks, tears still occasionally splatting down against the grass-bed beneath us.

“Why?” Antonio asked with a croak. “How can you sit here and look me in the eye after I killed your entire family? You should be yelling at me. I don’t deserve your kindness.”

“I’ve done enough yelling and screaming, don’t you think?” I countered softly. “It got me nowhere in life, and I don’t think it will now.”

Antonio didn’t respond.

“I forgive you,” I blurted out.

Antonio’s eyes widened.

“I know you didn’t mean it. I still hate what you did, don’t get me wrong, but now that I know there’s an afterlife, there’s no point in me hating you.”

I’ll get to see them soon, finally, after five miserable years.

“L-Lovino!” Antonio choked. “I’m so sorry!”

“Shhhh,” I cooed, bringing him into a hug. I was no longer bound by social formalities anymore. I could do what I wanted without having to fear being judged; it was the most wonderful feeling.

“It’s okay,” I said, rubbing circles into Antonio’s back. “It’s done and over with. There’s nothing we can do but move forward.”

My face warmed due to our close proximity.

“You shouldn’t be comforting me,” Antonio said. “You just died. I had one job. I was supposed to take care of you, and I couldn’t even do that!”

I rolled my eyes, beginning to become impatient. “We all make mistakes. You said you’re from heaven, right? Well, fucking act like it. Forgiveness is what you angels all preach, isn’t it? I’m throwing it right in front of your face, moron. You should probably take it.”

I pulled away from the hug, giving the angel his space.

Antonio smiled faintly, rubbing at his eyes. “You were always such a funny kid to look after, making snide jokes and being sarcastic to mask how you truly felt. You’ve made me laugh a lot over the years. You’re still living up to that image now, even in death,” he faltered, sadly trailing off.

Silence.

“Antonio, can I ask you something?”

“Yes, anything.”

“Why look after me? You weren’t forced to, were you?”

Antonio shook his head. “No, I wasn’t forced to do anything. I wanted to. God was too kind to me. I thought for sure I would end up in hell for what I did… I killed two good people, and then you in the aftermath by ruining your life. It killed me all over again to watch you live on the streets, barely surviving but always fighting. You’re stronger than I could ever be in that regard. Despite your mood, you never give up. I used to be stubborn like that until I became your age. I guess I mellowed out…”

“Huh,” I hummed. “Mellowing out is boring if you ask me. I like being spunky; it must be the Italian in me.”

Antonio chuckled, sniffing and hiccupping as his sobs subsided.

“Can I ask you another thing?” I whispered.

Antonio nodded.

“Why stick around? Once you knew that I was better, you still stayed. Why is that?”

“I felt responsible for you. I…” Antonio tanned cheeks became a bright pink. “I grew to love you.”

“Oh,” I stammered. “Oh, fuck.”

Real eloquent, Lovino. Christ.

“You shouldn’t swear, Lovino,” Antonio warned. “Especially with where we’re going.”

“You can’t just say something like that and not expect me to freak out, you dumb angelic fuck! But… you are attractive, I’ll give you that.”

Now that I was dead, there was no point in beating around the bush.

“Fusososo! You’re lucky we’re in purgatory! If another angel heard you say that, you’d have chores for an entire week, maybe even a month depending on who heard you,” Antonio doubled over, giggling uncontrollably.

The sight of it made me grin, but I had to repress it with a cough.

“Not happening,” I snorted. “I’m doing no such thing just because some melodramatic holier than thou asshole decides they can boss me around! I’m my own boss now! I don’t have to worry about school, or taxes, or grades, or hell, anything! God damn, this feels good!”

“Ay dios mio. I’m almost regretting claiming responsibility for you. You’re going to make me look bad in front of my superiors.”

“You deserve it.”

“Ay, I do.”

“You know, you’re taking your death surprisingly well,” the angel remarked.

I shrugged. “I’ve had brighter days. Heck, I’ve had way darker ones. But here, this is where I finally feel like I can relax and be true to my self. It feels like…home, strange as that might sound. I’m not scared all the time like I used to be.”

“It’s not strange at all. We all feel this when we pass on. It’s completely normal; heaven and any place under its influence is supposed to provide you with comforting emotions.” Antonio grabbed my hand, pulling me to my feet.

“Where are we going?” I asked.

“Heaven,” Antonio replied. “There are people waiting for you, in your new home, that is.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Y-you mean…?”

Antonio nodded, already knowing who I was referring to. “They’re very proud of what you did. I can’t say the same, because I was supposed to make sure you stayed alive… But you know, all is well if it ends well. I can mope about being a failure once I get you back to them…”

There was something about the angel that looked off, like he knew something I didn’t.

Antonio covered a hand over my eyes. “Don’t look, it’s too bright for newcomers to withstand. It takes some time to get used to.”

I followed Antonio’s advice, waiting for him to tell me to open my eyes. There was a whoosh of wind in my ears.

I felt something soft beneath my bare feet.

We were standing before a tall golden gate surrounded by clouds. This was heaven. I had actually fucking made it.

“It’s so…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence.

“Beautiful?” Antonio proposed, grinning widely.

“Yes, that,” I stuttered, brilliant as always.

I absently walked forward, not listening to Antonio as he gave me more instructions. I was too busy ogling at the even bluer sky before me.

“What?” Antonio whispered to himself behind me. “There’s still a chance? What do I do? Okay, okay. Yes, I can do that. It’s for the best, even if… even if he’ll hate me for it. A-are you sure you guys want this for him?… All right.”

“Hey, Lovino?” Antonio called out.

I turned around. “Yeah?”

“Come here, I want to show you something.”

I walked over to Antonio, blushing deeply as he grabbed my right hand. He brought it up to his lips for a quick kiss before leading me towards the edge of the clouds.

I looked down into the Earth below, seeing the world’s landmasses without any borders or divisions.

“Why are you showing me this?”

“Because you don’t belong here. You can still live on, Lovino. God has granted you with a miracle. We must act quickly, before it’s too late.”

Reality came crashing down. I was no longer in a dream-like stance as I realized what the angel intended to do.

“A-Antonio! Wait! No! I don’t want to leave! Don’t send me back, please, I’m begging you! I need to see my family! Let me see my family! I don’t…I don’t want to be alone again!”

Antonio let go of my hand.

I froze as he bent down to peck my forehead; it didn’t provide the same warmth as it had before. It burned to the touch, sending sharp daggers of hurt across my entire nervous system.

I couldn’t believe what was happening.

“Live well, Lovino. Your heart will always lead you in the right place, trust your instincts. I’ll always be there to watch over you.”

I gasped as Antonio pushed me forward, falling through the air and down to the Earth below.

I screamed, furious at this betrayal as I continued to fall through one cloud mass after the next until Antonio was nothing more than a black speck looming above, out of sight…

But not out of mind.

…

One week later

…

I opened my eyes, finding myself in a hospital room. The whole right side of my face was covered with bandages, making it impossible to move.

Terrified, I tried to move my limbs, grateful when I realized I was able to. Nothing felt wrong other than the sharp pain in my head, where I had been shot.

Still in a daze from the bright lights surrounding me, I began to breathe in sharply, panicking when the rate on my heart monitor picked up speed.

“Lovino, look at me.”

I stopped moving the lower half of my body, raking my eyes to the right-side of the bed. Antonio was sitting there in a chair, eyes downcast.

I wanted to speak, but couldn’t because my mouth was wired shut.

Antonio voiced my concerns.

“You do not have to worry, querido, you will survive this injury. The bullet went clean through your cheek, not damaging any important arteries or organs. You will have some scarring, though, and I’m truly very sorry for that. You must know that I pushed you only because I saw the small chance of you having a future. Your family wanted you to live if possible. I was only respecting their wishes.”

Tears streaked down my face. That fucking bastard. Didn’t I get a say in this?

Antonio sighed, finally looking me in the eyes. “I can tell you wanted to stay with them… But, now there is nothing either you or I can do about it. All I can say is live your life to the fullest, Lovino. Please, for you and for your family. I’m afraid I must go now. There’s a girl out there, waiting for you; praying for you; crying for you.

"You must help her when you can; she lives in a toxic environment, just like you did on the streets before. She’s a good person who has had many bad things happen to her. You don’t need me anymore, but I want you to become her guardian. Look after her when you heal and hold her close, as a friend or as a…lover be it may. Use the light in your heart to help guide her away from the darkness that fast approaches in her life. More than that, let love fill your own life again.”

I whimpered, prompting Antonio to turn around and give me a sad look.

Please, don’t leave! – my mind pleaded. I forgive you! Stay!

“I know you do, and can’t thank you enough for how kind and selfless you are,” Antonio chided. “It’s also why I have to leave. I don’t belong here on Earth anymore. I haven’t for a long time now. I wish I could stay, I really do. I suppose this is all I can offer you, q-querido.”

Antonio bent over, pushing away the bangs from my pallid face. He brushed his lips against my forehead, cupping my cheek with one soft hand as he pulled away, a great amount of reluctance resting on his facial expression.

“Goodbye, Lovi. God speed.”

And then he was gone.

I stared at the ceiling, unable to stop the tears from pouring down my face, wetting my collarbone and the front of my nightgown.

My quiet sobs must have alerted Bella, because next thing I knew she was hovering over my bed, crying out in relief.

Her eyes had dark bags under them, but the sight of me waking up from my coma must have allowed some hope to shine through. She both smiled and sobbed as she gripped onto the railing of my bed, apologizing for something that wasn’t her fault.

At least I had brightened her day.

That was a start.

–The end