Teaching England how to cook is like telling a fish to grow an opposable thumb.
It’s impossible.
aph France, probably.
Tag: original
America: Hey! I just got tickets to the circus. Wanna come?
England: No need. I get my daily fill of entertainment
by watching your country’s press conferences.
America: I’m going to make a historical documentary about my independence!
Also America: ↑
America and Canada: Who’s older?
England: Er…whoever learned the alphabet first.
America: DAMN IT!
150 years later…
America and Canada: Who’s older?
England: Er…whoever has a lower drinking age.
Canada:
Young Germany: How was I born?
Prussia: AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH I SAVED YOU AS HOLY ROME
BUT THEN YOU BECAME AN AMNESIAC LALALALALALALA
*Holds up Young Germany by the armpits, Lion King style*
Young Germany: B-bruder, what are you doing?
Prussia: It’s the circle of life.
Prussia: Is your country running?
Holy Rome: We’re hardly unified, what do you think?
Prussia: Well, I better go put it together.
…
[on the phone]
Prussia: Is your country still… is your country running?
Germany: Listen, I don’t have time for this.
Prussia: Kids these days. So ungrateful.
The original Salt Bae.
England: You don’t know anything about world geography, do
you?
America: Not sure what you mean. Could you be more pacific?
During the Cold War:
America: What do you call a Russian dinosaur?
America: A tyrant-o-saurus wreck
Ellawritesficssometimes 